Today I...

passed an old man with a hairy back and no shirt on running on the side of the road.
laughed maliciously at a bug that was stuck on my wind shield wipers as I mischieviously put them in the "on" position.
watched a child about the age of 5 pick his nose in his car, then smile victoriously as he looked at me and ate it.
tiptoed around the office looking for any abandoned snacks someone might have forgotten about.
found a bag of animal crackers.
made said animal crackers dance and play together just before I ate them.

And it's only 10:00 in the morning. It's going to be a good, busy day!