Would you like to buy...

Okay, so I admit...I'm a sucker for kids that are selling crap. I think part of the reason is because every time a child comes to me and asks me to buy something, whether it be wrapping paper, candy, lottery tickets, cookies, junk, pencils-whatever, it always takes me back to a time, in my slightly more nerdy days, when I too had to sell junk for fundraisers. Bless their hearts.

And it seems to me that every organization and every school and every department gangs up on poor suckers like me and sells their stuff at exactly the same time. So by the time every kid in my neighborhood and every child at church has hit me up to buy something I am completely and utterly broke.

I'll never forget one time when a child came to my door and the parent stayed out by the road--I opened the door (that was my first mistake) and the kid asked me to buy something. It's almost like the kids bring the parents for intimidation. I took one look at this kid's dad and thought to myself, "If I don't buy something this man is going to come beat me up." Needless to say I bought something.

There is just something so undeniably heartbreaking about telling a child no and bursting their dreams of raising enough money to go to space camp for the summer. Last night a little girl came up to me after church and asked me to buy a candy bar for a dollar. I sadly told her that I had spent my last dollar bill on a candy bar that I had purchased from her sister that morning. Then with big brown eyes she looks up at me and says so sweetly, "I can take a check." OMG. Really?! They sure don't give up, do they?! What could I say to that? Yes, I'm a sucker...I went over to my purse and proceeded to write the kid a check for a dollar. Sheesh.

So do me a favor: Keep your kids away from my house and away from me. Next time, I'm just not going to open the door.