Bizzare

While driving home from work yesterday, something interesting, yet a little bizzare caught my attention. Driving on the other side of the road coming at me in the opposite direction was an African American man on a bike. That's not what was unusual.

The man was dressed head to toe in a Santa suit with a large American flag standing inside a small trailor he was pulling (on his bike-mind you!) with banners that said something to the effect of "Fight for Freedom."

It never ceases to amaze me what the crazies here in Tulsa will do to get attention. Next thing you know there will be a rally led by all things imaginary. Maybe the Tooth Fairy will be there and can give me the money for my last two teeth I didn't get paid for!

Happy Fall TV

There's more than just the warm weather that I love about summer. I love the break...from television. Since my shows are in reruns through the summer, and I refuse to add any "just summer" programs to my plate, I take a 3 month hiatus and actually live life a little. I get to stay out past 7. It's awesome.

I must admit, when the fall tv season starts up I become this person...this monster, if you will. Someone that you wouldn't even recognize if you had only met me in the summer time. I become the TV Nazi. I can't help it-my shows are important to me. I feel like I'm a part of the show-I know the characters and everything about them. I know how they felt when so-n-so broke up with them or how happy it was when they finally got married in the end. I have a lifetime of hours invested in these lives, so why wouldn't they be important to me?

So, please note the following as we approach a new fall tv season:
Do not call me during the hours of 7-10pm CST any day of the week (well, weekends are okay).
Do not try to start a 30 minute conversation at 6:59 pm CST.
If you must communicate with me during 7-10 pm, you have a two minute window every 15ish minutes. Talk fast and only give me the important details.
If you invite me to a social event that happens to fall during this time frame, it is highly possible that I will be "sick" and unable to make it.
When I go out of town and have to record all of my shows for a week, please expect me to be unavailable for the entire following week upon my return. I am busy playing "catch-up."

These guidelines are for your safety only. Failing to meet these guidelines, MAY cause horns to creep out and claws to emerge. I take no responsibility for any injuries you sustain while violating these guidelines. Consider yourself warned.

So, who wants to come over and watch some TV with me? Come on, it'll be fun!!

Crikey!

What a disappointment. I'm sure gonna miss that bloke.

Doctor What?

One thing I really despise is going to the doctor. I had an appointment today-not for anything major. My appointment was at 11, so I thought I'd be nice and arrive like 15 minutes early so that they could get all my paper work processed and could get me in to my appointment on time.

WRONG.

Thirty minutes pass, and I am starting to get a little antsy. By the time 45 minutes passes, I'm sending text messages to friends letting them know how annoyed I am. After an hour, that's right-an hour, of just sitting there watching many people come and go before me, my patience is flat out gone.
Just as I'm about to get up and show the entire crowded waiting room just how impatient I am, another lady beats me to it and goes up to the check in desk to complain about having to sit there for 30 mintues (why didn't I complain sooner?!). I decided that if that woman got to go in before me after only waiting 30 minutes, I was going to be livid. Thank goodness, the door opened at that time and the nurse called my name. The nurse weighs me and takes my blood pressure then takes me to the little room where I am supposed to meet with the doctor.

I sit in that room and wait ANOTHER 15 mintues for the doctor to come in. By that time, I've had enough time to read 16 magazines, make 5 phone calls, plan out my entire dinner menu, polish off a box of Reese's Pieces, and still have time to twiddle my thumbs.

Next time I have an appointment, if I'm not going to see the doctor until NOON, don't freakin make my appointment at 11.

Thank you, and have a nice day.

I think I may throw up.

"I, like, cry, when I listen to it, it's so good."

As Chandler Bing might have said, "Could you BE more arrogant?"

Ugh.

This week I...

battled through my first (and hopefully only) case of strep throat-I do not wish it on my worst enemy.
looked at a bajillion and one Honda Accords searching for the "right" one...no such luck.
decided I am addicted to Reese's Pieces.
wished it were a little cooler when I walked in my backyard and it looked like fall because all of the leaves on my trees have already turned colors and fallen off.
had a dream that something was holding my covers down and yanked Simon off the bed in the process.
got a little excited when I realized I'm going to New Orleans in six weeks.
came to the conclusion that kids who are still in school are lucky-they have no idea how easy they have it right now.
replaced the second battery on one of our cars in less than two months (DANG HEAT!).
discovered the battery was the problem AFTER we had already replaced the starter (dang liars at O'Reillys).
got a little bummed when I realized I'm going to be in New Orleans working BOTH weeks of the fair.
went to the scrapbook vendor fair and bought lots of scrapbook stuff.
came to the realization that it's too hot to do anything.

It's hotter here than

a bowl of melting lava.
burning charcoal.
a sun-bathed cement parking lot.
Matthew McConaughey with his shirt off.
extra spicy salsa from Los Cabos.
an entire box of Hot Tamales in your mouth at one time.
apple pie right out of the oven.
a lightening stricken tree.

But is it hot enough to bake cookies in your car?